Archive for category Rules of Engagement

In the 1989 now classic film, Road House, Dalton (the main character played by Patrick Swayze) declares a clear philosophy to the bar’s staff on how to rid the bar of its hooligans, miscreants and ne’er-do-wells:

“All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One: never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three: be nice. If somebody gets in your face and calls you a [insert insult here], I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk, be nice. If he won’t walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can’t walk him, one of the others will help you. And you’ll both be nice. I want you to remember that it’s a job. It’s nothing personal.”

When managing a community there are many times when someone will try their best to disparage your brand, organization, leadership or product. People find dozens of rational and more often irrational reasons to tell your constituents and anyone who will listen that the brand you represent is a close cousin with the devil himself. In a few minutes the accusation is shared on every single mainstream social media tool in the world, including your own community. How do you respond?  I ask myself, What Would Dalton Do?

First, don’t underestimate the person behind the vitriol – no matter how nonsensical they seem. Ignoring them might be the first step you take hoping they’ll just go away, but it might not be that simple and you shouldn’t presume it to be. You shouldn’t also make the mistake of thinking that just because their accusations are simple-minded that they aren’t capable of more complex attacks, including drafting friends and colleagues to their cause. In short, don’t knee-jerk, bring out the heavy PR firepower, but don’t simply wish it away. Chances are they aren’t going anywhere soon. So what do you do?

Take it outside. Getting into an online shouting match within your community or a social media platform is not a smart way to go. You will end up looking like a petty bully who foolishly took the bait. Many communities require personal information like email and sometimes even phone numbers. If you have the person’s phone number, give them a call, introduce yourself and ask them to elaborate more on their beef. If you can’t call them directly, email them an impossibly friendly note asking the same. Disarm them. Make sure you’re prepared to have anything you write to them thrown back in your face. If they post your email with their own snarky commentary you will look like the victim if your note was nothing more than friendly, empathetic and genuinely concerned with their issue. “But I want to tell them to go to hell!” Don’t do it.

BE NICE. Dalton picked up where Shakespeare left off in the 1590s in The Taming of the Shrew. You have to kill them with kindness. Don’t be a push over, of course. As Dalton says, feel free to walk them out of your community (give them the boot), but be nice while you do it. Remember, you are trying to foster a community. You’re the mayor, the principal, the head honcho. If you want your community to be filled with nice people you need to lead by example. The easiest way to be nice is to not take anything personally. You pour your heart and soul into fostering your community and it’s hard to hear someone openly disparage it, but you can’t take it personally. If you do, you’ll easily join them on the low road and trade immature zingers until you realize it’s gotten you nowhere (except in the blogosphere). In the end, you’ll wish you followed Dalton’s sage advice. If you do, you’ll suffer some scars here and there, but in the end you will come out stronger and wiser.

How have you successfully dealt with a troublesome user? Did you close their account and wipe your hands of the situation? Were you able to turn them around and move forward? Did you ignore them and let the problem successfully take care of itself?